Short memory!

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket!

Be correct

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!.

Will work for cash

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

In Twenty Dollar bills, please

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

Just Trying to Help Out

Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

Trip to India

"On my trip to India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

Readers Digest, Easily Offended

Try it sometime

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

I knew there was a good reason!

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

Respect

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Start the Day Right

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Life

One of the ironies of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.