Office Wisdom #2:

Under consideration: Never heard of it until now.

Under active consideration: We're trying to locate the correspondence.

We're making a survey: We need more time to think of an answer.

The members say: Voicing the opinion of the last one who called.

Let's get together on this: You're probably as mixed up as I am.

Memories

Drawn and Quartered comic many years ago:

Boy is showing his bare bedroom walls to a friend:

"That's where I had my Pete Rose poster; that's where I had my Mike Tyson poster; that's where I had my Darryl Strawberry poster; and the OJ Simpson poster was over my bed."

I am a Rush Job

I belong to no age, for men have always been in a hurry.

Men believe me necessary - but falsely.

I rush today because I was not planned yesterday.

I demand excessive energy and concentration;

I override obstacles, but at great expense.

I illustrate the old saying "Haste Makes Waste".

My path is strewn with the evils of  overtime, mistakes and disappoints;

Accuracy and quality give way to speed.

Ruthlessly I rush on -- I AM A RUSH JOB!

Office Wisdom:

It's in the process. We forgot about it until now.

We'll look into it it. You may forget it, too.

Take this up at our next meeting. That will give you time to forget.

Project: A major approach to a minor job.

Program: A project requiring more than one telephone call.

The Project Cycle

1. Wild Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Total Confusion
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment for the Innocent
6. Promotion of the non-participants

Why worry about tomorrow?

We may not make it through today!!!!!!

Columbus

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Fe.

If not now, when? If not you, who?

I wondered why someone didn't do something. Then I realized, I am somebody.

Polish Fun with Math

1. Put your age down on a piece of paper.
2. Add one.
3. Subtract one.
4. The answer will be your age

Standard Answers in the Business World

1. It's being looked into.
2. I can't tell you that, it's confidential.
3. That shouldn't have happened.
4. You can't get there from here.
5. Try it, it might work.
6. Try it, but it might not work.
7. You can try it, but it won't work.
8. Trust me, it works that way.
9. I don't know why, it just does.
10. It is known that this is not optimal.
11. That's the way they wrote it.
12. I don't know why they did it that way.
13. Purpose was to save money.
14. God only knows.

Economics

Pepper and Salt, NY Journal?

Husband to wife: "Here's a leading economic indicator - my wallet is empty!"

I understand - about Mornings!

B.C. 8/12/1979

frame 1: bird asleep on sleeping turtle's back
frame 2: turtle waking up
frame 3: turtle yells at bird "Wake up, bird, it's morning!" Startled bird, "Huh?"
frame 4: bird slipping off turtle's back "Whoooaaa"
frame 5: bird falling out of sight "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
frame 6: SPLAT
frame 7: Turtle "Why didn't you just fly?You Ninny!" Bird "Fly?"
frame 8: Turtle, "You're a BIRD, aren't you?"
frame 9: Bird, "You expect me to remember that when I'm only half awake?

Sounds like a good schedule

10-11 = conceptualize
11-12 = organize
12-1 = analyze
1-2 = lunch
2-3 = supervise
3-4 = reorganize
4-5 = finalize
5+ = socialize

Navigation at Sea

Boner's Ark, January 20 many years ago:

Helmsman: "What course have you plotted for us today, Navigator?"

Navigator: "Oh, what the heck, why don't you turn left?"

Helmsman: "There goes one f the world's great plotters."