What Do You Know?

Joke of the Day

Small Boy: "My father and I know everything in the world."

Older Boy: "All right. If you're so smart, where is Africa?"

Small Boy: (after some hard thinking) "That's one of the things my father knows."

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #12

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #12

Please excuse Diana from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with Gramps.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #11

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #11

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marines.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #10

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #10

Carlose was absent yesterday because he was planning football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #9

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #9

Please excuse Joey Monday. He had loose vowels.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #8

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #8

Lillie is absent from school yesterday as she had a going over.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #7

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #7

Please excuse Joyce from Jum today. She is adminstrating.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #6

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #6

Please excuse Blance from PE for a few days. Yesterday she fell and misplace her hip.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #5

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #5

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take PE (physical education). Please execute him.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #4

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #4

I kape Bille Hove because she had to Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she wear.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #3

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #3

John has been absent because he has two teath taken out of his face.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #2

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH  #2

Mary could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #1

Joke of the Day

Mothers Excuses for Their Children Missing School in Cincinnati, OH #1

Chris have an acre in his side.

Whew!

Joke of the Day

A high school freshman went to the basketball game and sat next to an attractive girl. To start a conversation, he said to her: "Do you see that man sitting down in front with the bald head? That's the principal of the school. He's the meanest man in town."

"Do you know who I am?" she asked. "I'm his daughter."

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

She shook her head and he said, "Thank goodness."

Unhappiness

Joke of the Day

Unhappiness is buying a suit with two pairs of pants and burning a hole in the coat.

Wonder Years

Joke of the Day

These are the wonder years. But, we won't know it for 15-20 years yet!

Promises

Joke of the Day

Promises

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises he makes.

(reminds me of the election process)

Experts

Joke of the Day

Some experts are like the bottom of a boiler - they let off a lot of steam, but don't know what's cookin'!

(Not real sure this is truly a joke :) )

Is Your Budget Sick?

Joke of the Day

If the family budget looks sick at the end of the month, it's probably something you ate.

Father or Son?

Joke of the Day

Twenty years ago I was told I wasn't as smart as my father. Today, I'm told I'm not as smart as my son. Where did I go wrong?

The Ball

Joke of the Day

The Ball

Those who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones who dropped it.

Finding Relatives

Joke of the Day:

When your ship comes in, you'll find most of your relatives waiting on the dock.

Boss

Joke of the Day

A Boss is a man who's late when you're early and early when you're late!

Changes the Sentence!

Joke for the Day

Motorist: "Your honor, I was not drunk. I had only been drinking."

Judge: "Oh, is that so? In that case, I'm going to send you to jail for only thirty days instead of a month."

Good Little Boy?

Joke of the Day

Lady: "Are you a good little boy?"

Little Boy: "No, ma'am. I'm the kind of boy my mother won't let me play with."

For the Caregiver

Joke of the Day

(Not so funny after all. You'll know what I mean!)

Doctor: "Your husband must have rest and quiet. Here's a sleeping pill."

Wife: "When do I give him this?"

Doctor: "Don't give it to him. Take it yourself."

A Good Diet?

Joke of the Day

Teenage boy: "Hey, when you had all your long hair cut off how much weight did you lose?"

Friend: "About 200 pounds! I got my father off my back."

Bye-Bye

Joke for the Day:

They say money talks - but most people will tell you that all they hear it say is "Goodbye."

Sharing an Apple

Joke of the Day

Sharing an Apple

Teacher: "Now, Johnnie, if I asked you to divide an apple with your brother and one part was bigger than the other, which would you give your brother?"

Johnnie: (after some heavy deliberation) "Do you mean my little brother or my big brother?"

Pig Pen

Joke for the Day

Farmer: "That little pig is my favorite.I've decided to call him "Ink.'"
Boy: "That's a funny name for a pig.Why do you want to call him that?"
Farmer: "Because he's always running out of the pen."