Fees

A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly "Don't pay for me daddy. I'm under five."

Support a Family?

The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

Easter

One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"

"I know!" a little boy exclaimed, " Pantyhose!"

Palm Sunday

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.

"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."

Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed, "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"

Life after Death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

Doctor #8

You know of course that all doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month or more for an appointment and the first thing he says is "I wish you had come to see me sooner."

Doctor #7

When I told my doctor that I had broken my leg in two places, he told me to stay away from those places.