The Laughter Library published 1936 #28

A young man, known more widely for his athletic prowess than for his ability to grasp the fundamentals of a college education, had transferred from one university football team to another, after having made a very poor scholastic record.

A professor from the second school was jibing his friend who taught at the first school about their respective requirements.

"We figured that if you required the average student to make a grade of 75, it was only fair to pass Bill on a grade of 50. So we gave him a special examination. Well the average student is asked ten questions so we decided it was fair to ask Bill two questions."

"First I asked him what was the color of blue vitriol acid and he said 'pink' and that was wrong. Next, I asked him if he knew how to make sulphuric acid and he said 'No,' and that was right, so I passed him."

The Laughter Library published 1936 #27

A very up-to-date young minister was explaining to one of his less modish parishoners that an American version of the Bible had been printed, and was in fact quite interesting.

'Well, sir, if you don't mind, I won't be making any changes. If King James' version was good enough for St. Paul it's good enough for me.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #24

A woman had been collecting benefits on her health insurance policy for some time. Finally a company examiner called on her, and after an extended examination said:

'Madam, it is quite evident that your neuritis is caused by your teeth, and they will have to come out. Let me see them, please.'

'All right, doctor,' she replied. 'Hold out your hand.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #22

In this case, it was Mrs. May Wilson Preston and Mrs. Arthur William Brown, whose ship ran into a terrific storm on a coast-wise trip to Florida. They tossed in anguish all night, and as the first signs of dawn came through the porthole, Mrs. Preston turned, with a pallid drawn face, 'Do you know what I'm going to eat for breakfast?' Astonished, Mrs. Brown asked, 'What?' and tried not to shudder. 'Our return tickets,' sighed Mrs. Preston.

The Laughter Library published 1936 #20

The story is told of Winston Churchill, shortly after he left the Conservative side in the House of Commons.

He was asked to take a certain young lady into the dining room. While she clung to his arm as they descended, she looked coyly at him and remarked with the frankness and audacity of youth:

'Mr. Churchill, there are two things about you I dislike very much.'

'And what are they?'

'Your new politics and your mustache.'

He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment and then replied with a lofty air.

'My dear, pray do not disturb yourself. You are not likely to come in contact with either.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #16

There are hundreds of stories about that famed down-easterner, Calvin C. Coolidge, and his few words. They tell that one Sunday he went out to church alone, his wife feeling unable to accompany him. When he came home Mrs. Coolidge questioned him.

'What was the sermon about?'

'Sin.' he replied, with his usual brevity.

'What did he say about it?'

'He was against it.'

Blonde on Board

A blonde is on board a small two-seater airplane when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.

"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died! Help me"

Ground control receive her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam.
I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height
and position."

"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the right front seat."

Ground control: "Repeat after me: Our Father who art in Heaven.... "