Nuns Grading Papers #3

(supposedly actual answers on tests)

Moses died before he ever reached Canada then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to be still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Nuns Grading Papers #2

(supposedly actual answers on tests)

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.

The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Nuns Grading Papers #1

(supposedly actual answers on tests)

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire at night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Burma Shave Signs #5

At intersections
Look each way
A harp sounds nice
But it's hard to play
Burma Shave

Both hands on the wheel
Eyes on the road
That's the skillful
Driver's code
Burma Shave

The one who drives
When he's been drinking
Depends on you
To do his thinking
Burma Shave

Car in ditch
Driver in tree
The moon was full
And so was he
Burma Shave

Passing school zone
Take it slow
Let our little
Shavers grow
Burma Shave

Burma Shave Signs #4

Around the curve
Lickety-split
Beautiful car
Wasn't it?
Burma Shave

No matter the price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In the car is you
Burma Shave

A guy who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin'
He's only hopin'
Burma Shave

Burma Shave Signs #3

Speed was high
Weather was not
Tires were thin
X marks the spot
Burma Shave

Cautious rider
To her reckless dear
Let's have less bull
And a little more steer
Burma Shave

The midnight ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a warmer
Hemisphere
Burma Shave

Burma Shave Signs #2

Don't lose your head
To save a minute
You need your head
Your brains are in it
Burma Shave

Drove too long
Driver snoozing
What happened next
I not amusing
Burma Shave

Brother speeder
Let's rehears
All together
Good morning, nurse