The Laughter Library published 1936 #1000

The Senator was a very poor shot and his friend with whom he had spent the entire day trudging over hill and dale even worse, if such a thing was possible. As the sun lowered, the Senator turned to his friend who had stopped to get his breath after a climb uphill. 'Jim, I'll tell you what. Let's just miss two more rabbits and call it a day.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #964

Secretary Mellon was once asked the difference between direct and indirect taxation. 'The former,' he explained, 'is somewhat like a daylight robbery while the latter is like going through a man's pockets while he is asleep.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #964

The editor of a weekly newspaper published the following notice: 'Owing to the lack of space and the rush of editing this issue, several births and deaths will be postponed until next week.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #926

Mrs. Hank Efferson came into the corner drug store one morning to have two prescriptions filled. As the druggist started to the back of the store, she called: 'Now be sure to keep them separate. One's for Hank and the other is for our hog. You know he's a blue ribbon winner and the State Fair starts next week. We can't take any chances.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #922

It was in Louisville the shooting took place - in a hotel lobby, and there were few witnesses who cared to appear in the case. Finally one bell boy was inveigled into the witness chair. The attorney asked where he was when the first of the two shots were fired. The boy admitted that he was sitting at the end of the desk, in the front of the lobby. 'Where were you then when the second shot was heard?' 'I don't remember exactly,' and he seemed to think, 'but i was jest about passing the L&N Depot.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #921

The physician's young son and neighbor lad were playing in the office of the doctor. Suddenly the young host threw open a closet and disclosed an articulated skeleton. The visiting lad was promptly and properly horrified. The doctor's son explained that his father was extremely proud of that skeleton. 'Is he? Why?' 'Oh, I dunno. Maybe it was his first patient.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #891

(From the days when a telegram was priced by the word, with a ten word limit before a higher fee was charged)

Going the ten-word limit better, the couple to whom a baby had been born wired the grandparents, 'Isaiah, 9.6' thinking of course they would refer to the scripture passage which reads 'For unto us a child is born.'

Imagine their surprise when the grandparents replied, 'That's a fine healthy weight for a child, but why name the poor thing Isaiah?'