More Headlines #4

• Meeting on open meetings closed
• Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives New Attorney
• Puerto Rican teen named mistress of the universe
• Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum - "We had no idea anyone was buried there"
• Meat head resigns (Washington, the head of the federal agency overseeing meat and poultry inspections)

More Headlines #3

• Cow urine makes for juicy lemons
• Worker suffers leg pain after crane drops 800-pound ball on his head
• Bridges help people cross rivers
• City unsure why sewer smells
• Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances

More Headlines #2

• Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
• Marijuana issue sent to joint committee
• Homeless survive winter: Now what?
• Homicide victims rarely talk to police
• 17 Remain Dead in Morgue Shooting Spree

More Headlines #1

• Diana (princess) Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died
• Missippi's literacy program show improvement
• Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs
• Illiteracy an abstable, study finds
• Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25

Now I understand why there is a communication gap!

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had avocados." If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

Very Punny #5

• A vulture carrying on two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger."
• Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes. I'm positive."
• There was the person who sent 10 puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Very Punny #4

• The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
• A backward poet writes inverse
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
• When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion
• If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine