The Laughter Library published 1936 #22

In this case, it was Mrs. May Wilson Preston and Mrs. Arthur William Brown, whose ship ran into a terrific storm on a coast-wise trip to Florida. They tossed in anguish all night, and as the first signs of dawn came through the porthole, Mrs. Preston turned, with a pallid drawn face, 'Do you know what I'm going to eat for breakfast?' Astonished, Mrs. Brown asked, 'What?' and tried not to shudder. 'Our return tickets,' sighed Mrs. Preston.

The Laughter Library published 1936 #20

The story is told of Winston Churchill, shortly after he left the Conservative side in the House of Commons.

He was asked to take a certain young lady into the dining room. While she clung to his arm as they descended, she looked coyly at him and remarked with the frankness and audacity of youth:

'Mr. Churchill, there are two things about you I dislike very much.'

'And what are they?'

'Your new politics and your mustache.'

He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment and then replied with a lofty air.

'My dear, pray do not disturb yourself. You are not likely to come in contact with either.'

The Laughter Library published 1936 #16

There are hundreds of stories about that famed down-easterner, Calvin C. Coolidge, and his few words. They tell that one Sunday he went out to church alone, his wife feeling unable to accompany him. When he came home Mrs. Coolidge questioned him.

'What was the sermon about?'

'Sin.' he replied, with his usual brevity.

'What did he say about it?'

'He was against it.'

Blonde on Board

A blonde is on board a small two-seater airplane when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.

"Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died! Help me"

Ground control receive her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam.
I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height
and position."

"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the right front seat."

Ground control: "Repeat after me: Our Father who art in Heaven.... "