Strength Building for Seniors

Joke for the Day

For those of us getting along in years, here is a little secret for building your arm and shoulder muscles. You might want to adopt this regimen.

Three days a week works well. Begin by standing outside behind the house, and with a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

After a few weeks, move up to a 10-lb. potato sack and then to a 50-lb. sack, and finally get to where you can lift a 100-lb. sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Next, start putting a few potatoes in the sack, but be careful not to overdo it at this level.

Hearing Things?

Joke for the Day

Mother: "If you don't stop playing those drums, I'll go crazy!"

Son: "I guess it's too late. I stopped playing them an hour ago."

Ring for Your Maid

Joke for the Day


Madge: "I love to sit in my bed and ring for the maid."

Marge: "I didn't know you had a maid."

Madge: "I don't, but I do have a bell."

Think About It!

Joke for the Day

Use your head. It's the little things that count!

Be Careful Who You Help!

Joke for the Day

Help a man in trouble and he will never forget you -- especially the next time he's in trouble.

Saving Labor

Joke (?) of the Day

Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow!

Will Rogers meets President Calvin Coolidge

Joke for the Day

Humorist Will Rogers was once taken to the White House to meet President Calvin Coolidge. Aides cautioned him not to make any jokes because the president was said to have no sense of humor. Rogers bet one of them that he could have Coolidge laughing within 20 seconds.

When they met, the aide said, "Mr. President, may I introduce Mr. Will Rogers."

Rogers held out his hand with a questioning look. "Pardon me, I didn't quite get the name." Coolidge roared with laughter and Rogers won the wager.

Explaining Puns

Joke for the Day

Explaining puns to kleptomaniacs is hard because they always take things literally.