Monday, February 10, 2014

List of Reasons #3:

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go shopping in malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FEDEX since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked by a needle infected with AIDS.


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