My Favorite Things - AARP Style

Joke for the Day

From the spring, 2008 Collin County Senior Resource Guide:

This is not an original from me, but something I read and wanted to share. It wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t so true. Julie Andrews (actress/vocalist) made an appearance at Radio City Music Hall for a benefit of the AARP. One of the musicals she performed was from her movie Sound of Music. The title of the song is My Favorite Things. (We all remember the songs from that movie) Here are the actual lyrics she used that night:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in strings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,

When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

 These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,

And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

I simply remember the great life I’ve had,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

(Ms Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted four minutes)