My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere..
I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. she said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
In my house there's a light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, tough it. It feels real."
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