Steven Wright #21:

Steven Wright #21:

For a while, I didn't have a car. I had a helicopter. No place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I this the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I replace the headlights in my car with strobe lights so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I play harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.