Friday, April 18, 2014

Steven Wright #27:

I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

The other day, I was walking my dog around the building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

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