- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
- There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be the right number!
- Thinks about this --- no one ever says "it's only a game" when his team is winning.
- I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap
- Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it
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