6. An Illinois Congresswoman
(Jan
Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her
flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and
asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know
whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a
minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and
explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the
airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross)
called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the
cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take
the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a
freshman Congressman
, Bobby Bright from Ala. who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant,
to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
planes have numbers on them.''
10 Senator Dianne Feinstein
called and
said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida . Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola
and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, La.
Senator, called and
had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China .
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a
visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have
one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her
stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to
China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make
reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally,
I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?''
replied the man.
After some searching, I came back
with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be
silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of
New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a
big animal.''
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