Can't pull it together to go to work? Don't use one of these tried-and-unfortunately-true alibis:
- Employee's sobriety tool wouldn't allow the car to start.
 - Employee forgot he had been hired for the job.
 - Employee said her dog was having a nervous breakdown.
 - Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
 - Employee's toe was stuck in a faucet.
 - Employee said a bird bit her.
 - Employee was upset after watching The Hunger Games.
 - Employee's hair was turned orange by an at-home dye kit.
 - Employee got sick from reading too much.
 
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