Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no long can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi Cola or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
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