Narcissist - n - someone better looking than you are. (Gore Vidal)
NASCAR - n. - the act of turning left in a Chevrolet for four hours. (Urban Dictionary)
Opera - n. - when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. (Ed Gardner)
Pessimist - n. - someone who is constantly being proven right or pleasantly surprised. (George Will)
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