I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded!"
When I turned two I was really anxious because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital on their death beds next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So, what did you think?"
What are imitation rhinestones?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
In my house there's a light swithch that doesn't do anything (don't we all have one of those?). Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
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